Over the years, I started to realize I was building a a fairly sturdy house of convictions. The children of when values and foundational pillars come together. I noticed myself leaning in several of the same directions of thought, those that could take me or the conversation I was in, further. The thread woven through it all, seemed to be that of infinite depth of connection. How far can we actually go, within ourselves? Within the relationships we get comfy in? Within how we choose to parent or model what we want to see?
These tenets are the buoys in the tumultuous sea that I return to, guiding & re routing me toward a life of meaning and resonance. They are ways of being that I cobbled together to represent what I stand for and what I’m made of.
How I show up in my personal life, is the same as how I show up in service to others. As a coach, these are how I measure myself.
The 12 Values:
1. Living in the Gain
Choose to see how far you've come, not how far you have to go.
These mindset glasses have been transformative; not even overstating it. Instead of forever measuring myself against some far away ideal that seems to get farther every time I check, I instead reflect on the incremental steps I’ve taken to get this far. Every win—no matter how teeny —become a foundation for the next. Then, the new floor. It’s not just optimism; it’s a deliberate practice in self-recognition. This sort of dynamic mindset shifting can be instrumental in dismantling RSD, imposter syndrome, anxiety, and dare I say perfectionism 👀.
For more on where this idea came from, check out the OGs here.
2. Presence
Life is only ever happening, in this moment.
Presence asks us to let go of distractions and fully revel in the now. Whether I’m zooming with a client, facilitating breath experiences, hiking, or listening to the tea; presence deepens the experience. It’s not about doing more—it’s about being here, now.
Be Here Now. IYKYK
3. Radical Honesty
Honor thyself, radically.
Honesty with ourselves and others is an act of courage. When I choose to speak my truth—especially when it’s uncomfortable, vulnerable, and completely on uncertain terrain —I create a cavernous space for authenticity. Going beyond the truth and leaning fully in to, what’s really true within me right now and am I choosing the easy way out or am I being real?
4. Life Design
We are the architects of our own experience!
Every decision, from how I map out my day to the relationships I cultivate, is a brushstroke on the canvas of my life. Designing a life isn’t about rigid planning; it’s about cultivating alignment between what we value and how we live. As we dip into intentionality, the juicy goodness of life can’t resist. Continually finding new breadcrumbs that lead to way toward what you want viscerally, will always be the right way.
5. Rest
Rest is not a luxury; it is a need.
In a world where we’ve learned the glorification of busyness and productivity, rest is my quiet rebellion [not only mine tho!]. It’s in rest that I get to reconnect with myself, allowing my body and spirit to replenish. Rest is where clarity emerges, where the soul finds its rhythm again. It’s only through a rested state, that answers and downloads come.
6. Softening
Strength isn’t always in the push; sometimes, it’s in the release.
For years, I believed life required constant bracing—against expectations, struggles, and my own inner critic. Softening has become an antidote. It’s the quiet practice of surrender [not to give up] but to make space for something better to flow through.
7. Direct Communication
Say what you mean, with kindness and clarity.
There is profound freedom in being understood. Direct communication is my way of clearing the air, reducing misunderstandings, and fostering connection. It’s not about being blunt; it’s about showing respect by being clear.
8. Impact as the Measurement
What if success can be in the difference we make?
Rather than chasing arbitrary milestones, I now measure my efforts by the ripple effects they create—on individuals, communities, and the world around me. Whether it’s a meaningful breakthrough with a client, a heartfelt conversation, or a simple moment of inspiration, impact becomes the ultimate barometer of purpose and fulfillment. It reminds me to focus not just on what I accomplish, but on how those accomplishments resonate with others.
9. Slow is Smooth, Smooth is Fast
Moving with intention creates enduring progress.
This mantra reminds me to resist the urge to rush [Thanks to my Coach Lisa]. Slowing down doesn’t mean stopping; it means embracing a rhythm that allows for thoughtfulness, precision, and grace. I get to reframe progress by recognizing that I can slow down, refine, in order to move seamlessly ahead.
10. Hone Your Craft
Commitment to mastery is a commitment to yourself.
Whatever your craft—whether it’s writing, coaching, parenting, or something else—it deserves your attentive care. Honing your craft means showing up consistently, learning deeply, and refining over time. It’s not about perfection; it’s about the joy of growth and the satisfaction of giving your best. THIS continues to be my biggest Mt. Everest; difficult to climb yet produces such a sense of fulfillment and purpose.
11. Celebration
Joy multiplies when we make time to honor it.
Greatness is built on the foundation of small, intentional steps. When the small victories are honored, we create momentum. I’ve learned that by celebrating the daily acts of courage—starting a task, making that call, taking a pause—I build the scaffolding for transformative change.
12. Finish That Thought
Unfinished threads pull at the edges of our minds.
Leaving something undone—whether a task, an apology, or an idea—creates a quiet dissonance. Finishing, whether it’s tying up a loose end or giving voice to an unspoken truth, restores harmony. It’s a way of clearing space for what’s next. Oftentimes, you can coach yourself right out of the thing when you go all the way to the end of the thought. Special kudos to my man for teaching me this one and continuously pushing me toward finishing my own thoughts!
These 12 values are not goals to achieve but practices to embody. They remind me to return to what matters, to move through life with a sense of depth and groundedness.
What principles guide you?
What truths do you hold close?
What, if any, get to be shelved?
The framework through which I coach [1:1, group, courses] work so well because we delve into the root of it all through shadow working, hard skilling and embodiment. If nothing else, community + resilience tools are strong ADHD foundations for your journey in partnering with your brain.
Hey, I’m Viki; a lass of many facets. TLDR: I’m a resilience coach empowering late diagnosed neurodivergent women from living in states of TENSION to living in a state of INTENTION. As a trauma informed practitioner, I support people through coaching, somatic guidance and communal events.
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